It took only one serve for me to realise how unprepared I was.
During the summer of 9th grade I did a 10-day volleyball program. I had missed the first two days and only ended up attending the third one. I had never even touched a volleyball prior to this, but I wanted to learn since I got kicked off the tennis team at my school. I wanted to do a new sport; something to be good at.
Once I stepped in the gym people were already playing. Clearly they've played before. I surprisingly saw one of my friends that I made from badminton, so we got up and played together. Her name is Alyssa. We were unable to bump the ball more than three times without it ending up on the other side of the gym. It was mainly my fault.
Soon the coach blew her whistle indicating that we were about to do an activity. "We are going to play a practice match, just like a real volleyball game," the coach said. "Break up into groups of 3, beginner, intermediate, and advanced." Since I'm self-aware, I went to the beginners' side. Alyssa disappeared after she was sent to the intermediate side.
The court was separated into a 6v6. A girl from the other side of the court volunteered to serve first. Her serve came straight at me. As soon as it went over the net it came rushing down. Out of fear, I hit the ball down away from my face.
"WHY DIDN'T YOU BUMP THE BALL?!" The skinny pimple-faced boy yelled. Then he turned to his friends and whispered something I knew was about me, and it was probably offensive. After his tantrum, it was my turn to serve. As I was about to serve underhand, the coach came over to me. "Oh c'mon Madison, I'm sure you're strong enough to serve overhand. Try it!" the coach said. Then the same skinny pimple-faced boy says "Clearly she can't." This is the beginners section, maybe he is the one who doesn't belong. Beginners don't know how to serve. I looked at him, for a long moment, maybe 10 seconds. I didn't say anything. There was no need.
The coach picked teams for us, I was team A. The teams were mixed with beginners, intermediates, and advanced players. I was excluded. My team did not let me play at all. When I tried to get on the court they told me to get off. So I left.
I should've kicked them off the court and told him to shut up. I swore I would not let people disrespect me prior to this. So I swore to myself again.
Despite the social rejection, I did not feel discouraged playing volleyball as a whole. However, I was waiting to experience a new environment that would let me play.
Months later, I made the volleyball team at my school. My coaches say we need to play aggressively to win. "Demand your space on the court. You deserve to be there." It made me think about the volleyball program. After that happened I didn't let people silence me, but I do on the court. It's so hard to be hostile towards familiar faces.
When I envision the person I want to be I don't see perfection, but growth. I believe that who we are and who we become are not only shaped by our goals, but our life experiences. Every lesson is just as important as every failure, and every success. It all builds your character and shifts your perspective while wandering throughout life.